Too Busy To Listen?

Among the shifting things which make up the world of common experience, it is comforting to hold on to something which does not change for that feeling of assurance and stability. But like a mirage, it eludes and gives us up to the vicissitudes of life and we take solace to a listening ear. Unfortunately, no one is listening these days.

As a result, many of up are passing through agonizing moments of untold stories, bottled up sorrows and unshared experiences of joy. People who sought in vain to be listened to or betrayed by those they opened their hearts to often withdraw into their shell and shorn the society. And like casualties, they stay lonely but insanely move in all direction and in no direction while constantly confronted with a crowd that professes love that has lost its meaning. It is sad.

Shutting up sometimes about yourself and giving a LISTENING ear to someone else could save a lot of souls from madness, self destruction and asylum.

Let Us Laugh Again

Laughter is used to express fun and happiness and it is very essential in life but it is not just laughing that is the core of the matter, it is the heart or the spirit of the laughter, the mood and the attitude. When it is disposed to laugh at the incongruous and the contradictions that life experiences, then renewal of life is enhanced.

The person that laughs will not be offended even when ingratitude, quick temper and possessiveness manifest in life and will always find a reason to still be happy and gallantly throw his gauntlet at the vicissitudes of life and wait on others to understand and to be infected by the laughter. A sincere laughter is contagious and never goes solitary.

It is quite unfortunate that in our society today, many people have forgotten how to laugh. You can hardly see anyone indulge in that kind of laughter that makes one break teacups and tumblers as legs and hands are spread in carefree and careless abandon out of joy and contentment in this our present extremely busy society. That laughter that makes tears of joy flow out and keep the faces ever smooth, fresh and young has given way to raw and sad faces which anger and sadness are daily wrinkling. Some can at best afford only some dry wan and ashy smiles that disappear as soon as they show.

Laughter does not necessary have to come from jokes, comedy and comedians and ridiculous events. That type of laughter can only be temporal. The type of laughter that lasts is the one that innately regards life as a joke and sees the funny aspects of whatever that is done to us or we do and then evokes that careless abandon laughter that comes from within.

That laughter, has indeed become a luxury in a society that is madly in need of laughter but is too busy to do the things that will put it on their faces. Clergymen pastor churches where everybody wears a serious and pious frown because they think that laughing with their congregation will portray less of their anointing. A society where a General Manager will refuse to laugh with the members of his staff because he thinks it will lessen his dignity, a father would not dare share jokes with the members of his family so he wouldn’t be too familiar with his wife and too close to his children and a society where no one is ready to share a smile with the next person on the street, because of the fear that over familiarity breeds contempt.

Laugh at the world around you, especially when the need arises and even when it hurts.

I know a man who laughs and makes sure that those around him are genuinely infected; Mr Leo Ewuzie, you are celebrated.

Obama Vs The Nigerian

I love the Nigerian spirit; the spirit to identify with and appreciate good things and good tidings. Such has been exhibited in all nooks and crannies of Naija as Barack Obama became the first black and the youngest president of the US. It was unbelievable but it happened through the tenacity of purpose, dream and doggedness of this young man. I’ve heard calls for us to replicate the Obama phenomenon in Nigeria. To believe in our dreams and make them happen. How can we do this when we don’t even have a Martin Luther King? The Nnamdi Azikiwe that we had has had his ideals buried and reburied because they do not have room for personal aggrandizement but rather, to build a better indivisible Nigeria and the rest that tried to Martin Luther us to greater heights had their voices shut before they became clarion calls. We shouldn’t judge Nigerians too hard especially, the younger ones. Obama has made history; there is no doubt about that but nobody has really made mention of the fact that he grew up in a society that has met the BASIC NEEDS of her citizens, a society that prepared and equipped him for this epic battle, a society that doesn’t expect to be praised for providing BASIC INFRASTRUCTURE like road and electricity, a society that respects the socio-political aspiration and rights of her younger generation and women and it wasn’t out of the ordinary for them that Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin- a state governor made their marks as presidential and vice presidential contenders respectively. Our first female governor via a miscarriage of law was celebrated for God sakes! Young Nigerians dream and they dare. That's the reason you have not experienced total anarchy in our beloved country. They are taking chances that are not allowed them and they are surviving. I never knew we were even ready for a Speaker as young as Bankole. We will continue to dare and we will also make history: that's the soul song of the Nigerian youth. 

As we call for our people to emulate the Obamamania, our government should also see his society and circumstances such as quality education, provision of basic infrastructure and the likes, a situation worthy of replication in Naija.

Between the Dreamer and the Realist

God made some people, investing them with a vivid imagination to see all kinds of visions. They are often impatient with their surrounding and are eager to speed off to some promised land beyond the horizon. If these people are not checked, they would destroy life's stability. They would forever be stampeding the rest to all kinds of fanciful realms, where their lives could not be sustained.

The creator therefore provided a brake in people who are stern realists, who will puncture every dream with the needle of keen analysis, who will challenge every vision in the name of facts and circumstances.

Between the dreamer and the realists, there is an unending feud. It may be bitter, for the realists judge the dreamers to be enemies of the society. Indeed, history knows instances where dreamers seized control and turned fanatics and destroying those who are not ready to join them in their adventure.

A healthy society is one in which the dreamer recognises the right to be challenged in the name of realism and in which the realist recognises the right to be questioned in the name of progress. 

The dreamer and the realist were meant to be collaborators. Through the balance of their conflicting pressures, we forge an ordered progress in which we shall reach out towards our goals, without sacrificing settled achievements

Emeka Amakeze writes

Personality Development

A man is as good as his destiny, nay, his thoughts. Thus the heart of every matter settles in the heart. And in the life of a man, his health, his ability to relate well with others and his level of success are inextricably interwined with his personality - good or bad.

The personality of a man is a functional by-product of both some internal and external factors. He is internally affected by his thoughts, mental pictures, his mindset and imagination whereas externally, he is influenced by his physical environment - what he sees, hears or feels. Negatively or positively, he is affected by his society and the people he interacts with. But the development of certain traits and abilities would make us to be either loved or hated, liked or just tolerated by others.

A loathsome personality would most probably scare people away from a man and place him on the highway to perdition. In the same vein, a pleasant personality traits or behavioural patterns create an enabling environment for success, accomplishment, recognition, love and care.

If you are personable, you will be able to improve your circumstances, modify your situation and influence other people. Developing your personality positively is a sure way of distinguishing yourself from everyone else. This is done through conscious and sustained efforts, as personality traits do not evolve spontaneously.

Negative thoughts and actions produce bad feelings, depression and regrets but good thoughts and actions lead to joy and happiness. And it goes beyond that as people like to associate with easy-going and agreeable personalities even though they may not be personable themselves. Personable individuals appreciate every little positive effort made by others and more often than not, extol virtue generally in people.

Personable people are made, they are not born and you can be one.

Emeka Amakeze writes...