Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts

Thursday, April 7, 2011

HUMILITY: A SURE WAY TO TRUE SUCCESS

It used to be true for almost everybody in the past that humility is a sure way to success but today, a whole lot of us believe that humility will actually get us nowhere. It is erroneously thought that it is only in the movies that being a nice guy is synonymous to achieving success and getting rewards. Humility is now assumed to be only useful in keeping one at the bottom of the success ladder which explains why almost everyone embraces cutting corners and taking advantage of every opportunity even to the detriment of friends and colleagues. This is considered being brilliant and sharp. The humble people are seen as the ones that get the extra loads of work dumped on them because they are intelligent and hard working. The humble ones are seen as the ones taken advantage of at every opportunity and who work the long late hours while the self proclaimed sharp guys have swell times, smile to the bank and are considered successful. I wonder how many of us have at one time or the other been influenced by such gross thoughts or have the slightest disposition to above inclinations.

I want to state unequivocally that considering ourselves successful has everything to do with humility. We need to first of all understand that humility is far from being stupid, and then come to the recognition that humility has to do with realizing our greatest potentials. This can be seen in the lives of some Nollywood superstars that live in the light of the truth that they are celebrities because people celebrate them; not because it is their rights. When we manifest humility in the light of the above, and also knowing that it is morally imperative not to claim it as ours but as a gift from God, we would readily share and reap the enormous benefits of being humble.


It is only the humble man that can be courageous enough to confront his inner self and ask pertinent questions as to the means through which he wants to achieve success or how he measures it. This is so because, humility is not just a means through which true success is achieved, it stays as an integral part of the success experience.

There is no gainsaying the fact that we often measure our successes based on the amount of wealth we are able to acquire, our status in the society and finally the level of our sensual pleasure. Putting these three criteria into consideration, I would now ask each and every one of us, “How do you measure your success and how do you know that you have achieved true success?”

Can we readily and without reservations stand tall and declare that the possession of enormous wealth brings true success? Have we not at one point or the other, in resignation to vicissitudes of life say that "everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind”? How often have we come to the sad realization that having achieved a goal we have worked so hard for years to accomplish did not bring us the happiness we anticipated? It would rather set us on a new quest with the promise of a new kind of happiness that comes from true success.

Our haughtiness in the face of societal stratification has become the only beacon of light to a whole lot of us while a lot of others are ready to sacrifice all they have on the alter of vanity just to be considered high up in the society. For them, it is a measure of success. But i tell you, without humility, all our high social status comes to naught in the face of living progressively in peace and harmony with one another. It is only living in the attitude of humility that we can be teachable, moldable, and willing to change for the greater good of our individual selves in particular and our nation in general.

For some, true success comes from seeking and believing that they are getting all the pleasures that life has got to offer as the ultimate goal. But if you should ask our dear King Solomon, who "had it all," he would tell you "I said in my heart, ‘Come now, I will test you with mirth; therefore enjoy pleasure’; but surely, this also was vanity" (Ecclesiastes 2:1). Today, if you do not engage in seeking for the pleasures of sexual licentiousness, drug abuse, alcohol abuse and every imaginable form of stimulation, you are considered a “Jew” man by your peers. We boast on the number of girls we have been able to take to bed but I tell you, if sexual pleasure brings true success, prostitutes and gigolos would be the happiest people on earth. Yet, their lives like that of all those who indulge excessively in the pleasures of life with a view to achieving true success, end up a shambles.

It is only true success that can give true happiness and peace and if you find out that despite your efforts to control every aspect of your life, you are not finding that happiness and peace you seek, the answer can be found in learning humility which alone can take you to heights of success you never imagined. This is so because humility brings the right balance and focus into our lives; it destroys our walls of arrogance and brings us closer to God and our fellow human beings, ultimately turning our thoughts around from thinking that we can handle things without God, or feeling unworthy to walk with Him.

For most people, living in a culture that worships at the altar of money has made it difficult to view success with God at the center rather their financial gains define their level of success. We have now embraced the mortal wisdom is that being in total control of every aspect of our lives spells success to find success. And like I said earlier, this type of success will persistently refuse to give the satisfaction that comes from true success which can only be achieved through humility. Bitterness and dissatisfaction, greed and sadness, war and betrayal are only but a few of what we will continually reap if we as long as we define success from our faulty, self-centered, worldly views.

It can seem counter intuitive in modern Western culture to believe that by yielding to God, we can actually achieve greater success. The more control we give Him, the more He rewards us. If we listen to Him, He will show us that the only way to achieve this type of success is through humility. Humility is somewhat difficult to learn and to define, but when we see it in someone else’s life, we know it instantly. They live for the Lord and not for themselves.

Finally, it may sound out of place for so many that the only way we can find true success is through humility and also learning, no matter how difficult it seems that humility yields us to God who in turn rewards us for the control we give him over our lives. And on the strength of that, we will discover that the greater our humility, the greater our achievements in our areas of endeavour.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Some Experience!

The bus was now tightly packed and people were still jostling for positions as far away as from the door. And then, she begins to sob. One of the robbers came close to the window where she was sitting and asked why she was crying; she replied in between sobs, “It’s not because of what you stole but because of my leg”. I started laughing. It was a sad situation we were in but i couldn’t help laughing.

Such is the way i often laugh at my problems and this will not be an exemption. I looked at the different faces of my colleagues in the bus and it was a representation of the lives of Nigerians. Some faces were dazed, some showed fright, and some have jumped out of their skins in fear while most were sad. They were sad because of the ugly incident they were forced to witness right from the moment we walked into their lair.

We were coming back late in the night on the 20th of April 21, 2009 from a movie location at Ilaa in Delta State. We had shot late into the night and were heading for home when we ran into this road block and just like we do in the movies, some young men armed with guns and machetes jumped out of the bush and surrounded our bus and ordered everybody out. We filed out of the bus and found some comfort hugging the ground tightly. They took their time going through each person and taking away personal effects; cell phones, ipods, wrist watches, shoes, clothes, wallets, handbags, jewelries. They spared nothing.

They went into the bus and commenced a methodical search which led them to its nooks and crannies where some of my colleagues hid one thing or the other. They took all. Satisfied that they had got all that we had, they asked us to go but as the driver started the bus, a woman begged them for some documents in her handbag and unexpectedly, they obliged her and that was when some other person remembered that the tape we recorded was in one of the bags they stole and begged for it. Almost everybody knew that if the tape got lost, we were going to re-shoot all we had already done and several voices joined in begging for the tape. They would have thought that the tape was one gem they had got and could have probably missed some more and immediately swung into action. They commandeered us into a bush and all hell let loose in the bus. Cries and prayers were jostling for which to reach to God first.

God heard one and touched their heart and their leader ordered us to reverse and go. The driver obeyed and in a few seconds, we were once more on our way home in a quieter style. There were no chit chats

Things happen sometimes.


And on a happy note, i really had some fun hanging out with Dammy and Oyin when she came to Nigeria. I know you guys have seen the pictures on their respective blogs but i really have to let you guys know that it was fun.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Just Another Question

You're the shining star among your friends. I ask "are you that shiny or are all your friends full?"

Your shoulder is getting weary because it's always being leaned on by people around you. "are you that strong or are people around you weaklings?"

"Are you really beautiful or are friends trying to patronise you by telling you that you are?"

You may have refused to put it into consideration but my question is, "are you really important to your partner or are your merely being tolerated in your relationship?"

"Do you believe that it's your intelligence that's propelling you forward or are those around you dim-witted ?"

From what you've lived your life and contributed to the world around you, "do you think you deserve being alive or better off dead?"

If you are 30 years and have probably spent about 30 minutes everyday on make up. Assuming 30 minutes everyday comes to 5 years (do the calculation as there is no love lost between me and maths) "do you think those 5 years you spent making up are in vain?"

Sunday, January 11, 2009

What Love Is

In our limitations as humans, love has had varied meanings or holds diverse definitions for different people and as such, what a loved one may offer us as love may not quite feel like what we know as love. But how could this greatest gift and luxury ever given to man hold as diverse meanings to him as we see today.

Love is love and has neither degrees nor shades. If it’s not love, then it’s not love. It is believed that God is love and since he created man in his own image and likeness, man therefore is, essentially love. He desires to be loved and cannot function properly without love. Even those that don’t believe in it do so out of fear of a previous experience or one that is witnessed

In our quest to get the purest of the essence of love and make it different from that which we already know, we fashion out those soothing words we often hear such as “unconditional love”, “perfect love”, “true love”, “real love”. All, in an attempt to define that special feeling that we yearn and always search desperately for!

We are however, our own obstacles to understanding love because any time we think about love, what first comes to mind is how that man is going to take care of me or how that girl is going to submit to me in bed. In all the fancy names we call love, our thoughts are always in the direction of what to get out of a relationship, and conveniently forget that love contends the soul and makes it ready to give instead of seeking to be given. To be in love is to place ones personal needs and wants after that of the beloved one without complaining and without expecting any remunerations and to be fully involved in the fulfillment of the self interest of the loved one.

The best person to write a manual for a gadget is the maker of such a gadget and since God is love, we should look up to Him for the meaning of love. Until we look up to our maker for a clear understanding of what love is, we will desperately continue to seek that which we vaguely understand from each individuals experience.

Love your neighbour even as Christ loved his church. He died for his church. Has this any place in your definition of love?

In the long and winding journey of life, when infatuation, beauty, sex, wealth and other such details that influence our definitions of love slowly vapourize and it dawns on us that we do not have that commitment and understanding that only love can give in a relationship, we withdraw into our shells and lick our wounds of heartbreaks and then, try to convince ourselves that we don’t believe in love. It is only in love and after love has grown in our hearts that we see and experience physical attraction, desire for marriage partners and friendship that can boast of commitment and understanding.

And God did say what love is and it goes thus

If i speak with the languages of men and of angels, but don’t have love, i have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

If i have the gift of prophesy and know all the mysteries and knowledge; and if i have faith, so as to move mountains but don’t have love, i am nothing.

If i dole out all my goods to feed the poor and if i give my body to be burned but don’t have love, it profits me nothing

Love is kind and is patient

Love doesn’t envy

Love doesn’t brag

Love is not proud

Love doesn’t behave itself inappropriately

Love doesn’t seek its own way and is not provoked

Love takes no account of evil and doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness

It rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things

Love hopes all things, endures all things

Love never fails

That is what love is.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Hanging Out In Blogsville

Emeka Amakeze: Alright people, before we commence, do sit back, relax and enjoy this football match.

NollywoodForever: Come on Emeka! We didn’t come here to watch a football match. If we must while away a little time, it must be a quality time with some good Nollywood films.

Shalewa: I really don’t understand this craze for football.

Queen Of My Castle: What’s wrong with football guys? It’s one of my passions.

NikkiSab: What about some music? I love music. And what about giving ourselves a treat with some quality food?

Darius T. Williams: Did i hear someone say food? I’m going to the kitchen and i’m gonna throw some exotic things together and i’m making it a buffet.

Temite: Don’t even think about it Darius if you are not going to make some Nigerian dishes.

Afronuts: Whatever you guys are doing, just make sure you do it right.

Vera Ezimora: Is anybody here the result of a broken condom?

Tommeh: Can you rephrase that question please?

L G: Vera! No be small thing o.

Super Woman: It’s only gossip. Well, with a side order of sarcasm.

Buttercup: I’m not from a broken condom but i’m different.

Biodun Kosumu: How can you ask such a question Vera? Was that how you were nurtured as a child in Russia?

Bumight: Can’t we just have a good conversation here and get to know each other better?

N.i.m.m.o: Wise or otherwise?

Jaycee: Like talking about my metamorphosis in my journey as a child of God?

Vera Ikeji: I’m with Jaycee. My strict catholic home upbringing agrees with what he’s just said.

AlooFar: Jaycee’s journey? I hope he has a map for all that Gulliver like metamorphosis?

Exschoolnerd: Please, please people! I came here to find some happiness and that is exactly what i intend to do before i’m misunderstood as being too complicated.

Fantasy Queen: While Darius T is still at it, can someone please serve the coffee and oreos?

Original Mgbeke: I’ve watched you guys enough! Can we talk about shoes please?

OluwaDee: Oh my God! Please Lord, give me the strength to face this.

Miss Definitely May Be: This place is definitely turning into a melting pot of crazy friends and i would be pathetic if i were your mummy.

Undacovasista: I’m not a crazy friend. I am just me and i’m learning to love and accept me for who i am. No apologies to anyone.

Ilochi Olisaemeka: As a gentleman, i accept the right of originality of everyone to be what they want to be; a critic, activist, anything.

DsCr?Be: In that case, i am peculiar!

For The Love Of Me: And i want to live life to the fullest.

Afrobabe: I hunger for something i cannot grasp.

Princesa: I’m intelligent, attractive, lovely, homely, talented…

Ostar Amakking Jnr: This is too much! Jesus! Let my eyes be shut from darkness and my mind led into light.

Nwa Chi: Can all the children of God here shout Amen!
Deola: It’s going to be more than that because i’m going to make sure that God gets all that’s going to transpire here in writing.

Shona Vixen: Well, i still have to be classy and confident here and of course, i am sensual.

Ms Catwalq: And i’m romantic; complete and unabridged.

Nonso Okafor: Am i the only student here? By the way, did i tell you guys that i am extremely handsome?

SolomonSydelle: I’m being enlightened here because i’m absorbing all the knowledge and information i can here.

Sexxy Luv: Let me just keep things private for now guys because i don’t know which of my faces i’m gonna have to show.

Standtall: I have one to show you all and that’s the bomb that i am.

Ababoypart2: Your voices sure don’t sound 80s and i am getting bored.

Yankeenaijababe: I’m not going to be left out here. Listen up people! I am that pretty Nigerian girl, very easy going, loves listening and reading…

Salem: Excuse me Yankeenaijababe, i have a proposal to make here. Aphrodite, can i love you and read you poems?

Aphrodite: No way! I’m only searching for someone to take a ride in the clouds with.

Emeka Amakeze: Attention please! Before Darius T comes in with some of those mouth watering dishes, i want to make a toast to the only girl with a glass on blogsville. TOSHARENELLE!
NB
Just a way to say thank you to you all for coming to my blog and for making me a part of you.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Classy Way Of Doing It

They come in different shapes and sizes. Did i mention that they also come in varied lovely colours? Oh yes they do and many people love them too. The problem is not about the above attributes but how it is done. I don’t think anybody will raise an eye brow how you do it in private but in public, that’s another kettle of fish.
Hold on people, before your minds start going to places i’ve not dreamt of, i am only talking about chewing gums. Is there any classy and acceptable way of doing or rather chewing them in private and in public?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Height Of Falling In Love




I once heard that if you are not ready to catch someone, don't allow him or her to fall in love with you. I have also heard people say how often they have fallen in and out of love. And I believe that you have also heard it several times and might have even experienced it one way or the other. There is no gainsaying the fact, nay we all have to agree that "falling" happens from a height and I am forced to ask, from what height does one "fall" in love?


Emeka Amakeze writes 

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Personality Development

A man is as good as his destiny, nay, his thoughts. Thus the heart of every matter settles in the heart. And in the life of a man, his health, his ability to relate well with others and his level of success are inextricably interwined with his personality - good or bad.

The personality of a man is a functional by-product of both some internal and external factors. He is internally affected by his thoughts, mental pictures, his mindset and imagination whereas externally, he is influenced by his physical environment - what he sees, hears or feels. Negatively or positively, he is affected by his society and the people he interacts with. But the development of certain traits and abilities would make us to be either loved or hated, liked or just tolerated by others.

A loathsome personality would most probably scare people away from a man and place him on the highway to perdition. In the same vein, a pleasant personality traits or behavioural patterns create an enabling environment for success, accomplishment, recognition, love and care.

If you are personable, you will be able to improve your circumstances, modify your situation and influence other people. Developing your personality positively is a sure way of distinguishing yourself from everyone else. This is done through conscious and sustained efforts, as personality traits do not evolve spontaneously.

Negative thoughts and actions produce bad feelings, depression and regrets but good thoughts and actions lead to joy and happiness. And it goes beyond that as people like to associate with easy-going and agreeable personalities even though they may not be personable themselves. Personable individuals appreciate every little positive effort made by others and more often than not, extol virtue generally in people.

Personable people are made, they are not born and you can be one.

Emeka Amakeze writes...

Marriage

One interesting stage in marriage is when the kids begin to arrive. The usual unending love and sultry texts and chats are gradually replace...