What Is Love?

When you hear the word love, do you smile or do you scoff? Have you ever personally speculated on or did a personal philosophy on love? If you were asked to define love, would you go to the dictionary for a guide, another person or have you got sufficient personal experience to define love from your own worldview?

A Decision I Once Took

I started an affair with Facebook last month and was thrilled and amazed at the number of friends i had lost contact with that i was able to meet there. I was still basking in that euphoria when i accidentally saw one of the few remarkable people i met in the university. I couldn't help but go down memory lane and i smiled, i wondered and i smiled again. I smiled because i remembered.
A couple of years back in Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, i had just won the Student's Union Presidential elections against all odds. I had to choose some competent hands that were going to work with me in the Presidency and of course, i had no problems filling all the positions except one.
Who was going to be the Attorney General of the Student's Union Government? A position that was so sensitive and so coveted that every senior law student worth HIS salt could do anything to have it. As i did not have to search on Yahoo or Google, i had only the law faculty to choose from, i consulted with some bright minds around me and


at the end of a very conscious and meticulous assessment of the most likely candidates; i was forwarded with a list of four names. I was to choose one from among the four but since i wanted the best, i had a very serious problem staring me in the face. It was either i went for the best and faced the consequences or i compromised for less.
I settled for the best of the best but it was decided that i had commited an abomination and thus emerged a conspiracy that finally took roots in the Student's Union House of Assembly; eventuating not only to the non ratification of my candidate for the AG, but to my impeachment. I stood my ground and kept telling the House, the opposition and whoever cared to listen that it was going to be the candidate i presented or nothing. The political weather was tense and the impasse went from days to weeks and before we knew it, it had gone to a month and still counting.
The qualifications and qualities of the my candidate that were like some unbelievable lyrics to the ears did


not matter to the opposition. They insisted that what i wanted had never been done and would never be. What was my candidate's crime? Her sex! My little known candidate was a girl and nobody probably saw the strength of either Sarah Pallin or Hillary Clinton in her. She fitted perfectly into my maps for a successful leadership and so, i refused to bulge on my decision and eventually, the power of superior arguement won and the House ratified her position and Ada Okwor became the first and only Attorney General of the Student's Union Government of Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka.
I smiled and wondered what it felt like then and i smiled yet again as i looked at her picture on Facebook.
Merry Christmas to you.

Let Us Laugh Again

Laughter is used to express fun and happiness and it is very essential in life but it is not just laughing that is the core of the matter, it is the heart or the spirit of the laughter, the mood and the attitude. When it is disposed to laugh at the incongruous and the contradictions that life experiences, then renewal of life is enhanced.

The person that laughs will not be offended even when ingratitude, quick temper and possessiveness manifest in life and will always find a reason to still be happy and gallantly throw his gauntlet at the vicissitudes of life and wait on others to understand and to be infected by the laughter. A sincere laughter is contagious and never goes solitary.

It is quite unfortunate that in our society today, many people have forgotten how to laugh. You can hardly see anyone indulge in that kind of laughter that makes one break teacups and tumblers as legs and hands are spread in carefree and careless abandon out of joy and contentment in this our present extremely busy society. That laughter that makes tears of joy flow out and keep the faces ever smooth, fresh and young has given way to raw and sad faces which anger and sadness are daily wrinkling. Some can at best afford only some dry wan and ashy smiles that disappear as soon as they show.

Laughter does not necessary have to come from jokes, comedy and comedians and ridiculous events. That type of laughter can only be temporal. The type of laughter that lasts is the one that innately regards life as a joke and sees the funny aspects of whatever that is done to us or we do and then evokes that careless abandon laughter that comes from within.

That laughter, has indeed become a luxury in a society that is madly in need of laughter but is too busy to do the things that will put it on their faces. Clergymen pastor churches where everybody wears a serious and pious frown because they think that laughing with their congregation will portray less of their anointing. A society where a General Manager will refuse to laugh with the members of his staff because he thinks it will lessen his dignity, a father would not dare share jokes with the members of his family so he wouldn’t be too familiar with his wife and too close to his children and a society where no one is ready to share a smile with the next person on the street, because of the fear that over familiarity breeds contempt.

Laugh at the world around you, especially when the need arises and even when it hurts.

I know a man who laughs and makes sure that those around him are genuinely infected; Mr Leo Ewuzie, you are celebrated.

Hanging Out In Blogsville

Emeka Amakeze: Alright people, before we commence, do sit back, relax and enjoy this football match.

NollywoodForever: Come on Emeka! We didn’t come here to watch a football match. If we must while away a little time, it must be a quality time with some good Nollywood films.

Shalewa: I really don’t understand this craze for football.

Queen Of My Castle: What’s wrong with football guys? It’s one of my passions.

NikkiSab: What about some music? I love music. And what about giving ourselves a treat with some quality food?

Darius T. Williams: Did i hear someone say food? I’m going to the kitchen and i’m gonna throw some exotic things together and i’m making it a buffet.

Temite: Don’t even think about it Darius if you are not going to make some Nigerian dishes.

Afronuts: Whatever you guys are doing, just make sure you do it right.

Vera Ezimora: Is anybody here the result of a broken condom?

Tommeh: Can you rephrase that question please?

L G: Vera! No be small thing o.

Super Woman: It’s only gossip. Well, with a side order of sarcasm.

Buttercup: I’m not from a broken condom but i’m different.

Biodun Kosumu: How can you ask such a question Vera? Was that how you were nurtured as a child in Russia?

Bumight: Can’t we just have a good conversation here and get to know each other better?

N.i.m.m.o: Wise or otherwise?

Jaycee: Like talking about my metamorphosis in my journey as a child of God?

Vera Ikeji: I’m with Jaycee. My strict catholic home upbringing agrees with what he’s just said.

AlooFar: Jaycee’s journey? I hope he has a map for all that Gulliver like metamorphosis?

Exschoolnerd: Please, please people! I came here to find some happiness and that is exactly what i intend to do before i’m misunderstood as being too complicated.

Fantasy Queen: While Darius T is still at it, can someone please serve the coffee and oreos?

Original Mgbeke: I’ve watched you guys enough! Can we talk about shoes please?

OluwaDee: Oh my God! Please Lord, give me the strength to face this.

Miss Definitely May Be: This place is definitely turning into a melting pot of crazy friends and i would be pathetic if i were your mummy.

Undacovasista: I’m not a crazy friend. I am just me and i’m learning to love and accept me for who i am. No apologies to anyone.

Ilochi Olisaemeka: As a gentleman, i accept the right of originality of everyone to be what they want to be; a critic, activist, anything.

DsCr?Be: In that case, i am peculiar!

For The Love Of Me: And i want to live life to the fullest.

Afrobabe: I hunger for something i cannot grasp.

Princesa: I’m intelligent, attractive, lovely, homely, talented…

Ostar Amakking Jnr: This is too much! Jesus! Let my eyes be shut from darkness and my mind led into light.

Nwa Chi: Can all the children of God here shout Amen!
Deola: It’s going to be more than that because i’m going to make sure that God gets all that’s going to transpire here in writing.

Shona Vixen: Well, i still have to be classy and confident here and of course, i am sensual.

Ms Catwalq: And i’m romantic; complete and unabridged.

Nonso Okafor: Am i the only student here? By the way, did i tell you guys that i am extremely handsome?

SolomonSydelle: I’m being enlightened here because i’m absorbing all the knowledge and information i can here.

Sexxy Luv: Let me just keep things private for now guys because i don’t know which of my faces i’m gonna have to show.

Standtall: I have one to show you all and that’s the bomb that i am.

Ababoypart2: Your voices sure don’t sound 80s and i am getting bored.

Yankeenaijababe: I’m not going to be left out here. Listen up people! I am that pretty Nigerian girl, very easy going, loves listening and reading…

Salem: Excuse me Yankeenaijababe, i have a proposal to make here. Aphrodite, can i love you and read you poems?

Aphrodite: No way! I’m only searching for someone to take a ride in the clouds with.

Emeka Amakeze: Attention please! Before Darius T comes in with some of those mouth watering dishes, i want to make a toast to the only girl with a glass on blogsville. TOSHARENELLE!
NB
Just a way to say thank you to you all for coming to my blog and for making me a part of you.

The Real Man

Providing a concise answer to my earlier question of what makes a real man is a big quest but one that is badly needed. Men have always defined their manhood by their roles; the function they perform for their families and society. But the fundamental nature, the essence of man can only be perceived from three perspectives- priority, position and assignment.

Man was not created first because he is better but because of his purpose. God wanted him to manifest his nature and to be responsible for all that he created and asked to take care of. Man came directly from the earth because he was designed to be a solid and dependable foundation of human family.

The man was not only designed to be the foundation but also the first to be positioned on earth and of course in the garden- a place of heaven on earth, a place of God’s continued presence and a place of training. A phenomenon God wanted him to replicate or spread all over the world.

And lastly, his assignment. The man is supposed to be a visionary and a leader, teacher, cultivator, provider and protector.

He is not supposed to look up to status and personal achievement as the measure of manhood but rather to look up to God’s standard.

To be a real man is to discover, understand and fulfil these basic aspects of purpose.

The Crisis Called Man

If we are looking at the issue of war, battered wife, abandoned home, prostitution, armed robbery and so many other vices, you are primarily looking at the by product of the crisis that has enveloped man, most especially, the modern man. He seems to be loosing grip on a whole lot of things and it worsens his situation with each passing moment. He can not come to terms with the fact that he was supposed to be the bread winner but not any more as women are getting richer every day and becoming providers. How can he shout at his wife/girlfriend or even protect her when she either packs a .45 or Jet Li's around as a black belter. His crisis is that those things that he used in measuring and asserting his manhood like providing for a woman, protecting her, leading her spiritually, economically and politically are gradually being taken away from him and he no longer knows what it means to be a MAN! This is going to be a whole lot of a discourse but before i go further, i will like you good people to give me your take on what it means or takes to be a MAN. Then, i shall continue.

How Much Money Do I Want

In order to carry out our daily required activities, buy a gift for a lover, feed, buy a car, build that dream house and marry that beautiiful woman that has always been there in all my fantasies and so many other things, we need money. And lots of it i may add but then, how much would be enough for me. I often ask myself that question and would usually not arrive at an honest answer. But would i sound greedy to say that what readily comes to my mind is that all i want is a little more money than i can ever get?

Classy Way Of Doing It

They come in different shapes and sizes. Did i mention that they also come in varied lovely colours? Oh yes they do and many people love them too. The problem is not about the above attributes but how it is done. I don’t think anybody will raise an eye brow how you do it in private but in public, that’s another kettle of fish.
Hold on people, before your minds start going to places i’ve not dreamt of, i am only talking about chewing gums. Is there any classy and acceptable way of doing or rather chewing them in private and in public?

I Have A Dream Too

The unprecedented political turn out of events in the US has kept every tongue busy in all corners of the world and each people drawing a lesson or two from it. And i hope that Nigeria and indeed the whole of Africa will not be left out in this lesson that i see in the bigger picture. A picture that my mind has kept nagging me about and in my bid to escape it, i fell asleep and i still dreamt about it.

If eulogies were to be quantified, there will be none left in Nigeria as all have been exported to Obamaland but i resolved to capitulate to my mind’s push and desperately search for more eulogies because i need to export some to Clintonland and Palinshire

My mind was nagging about it because true to the nature of the African man and in particular, the Nigerian man, he has conveniently relegated the exploits of these two women to a deep abyss of a background. “Why?”, “Shebi make dem start their own for Naija” He would retort.

But on the contrary, i have a dream that one day, the strength and industrious nature of the African woman will be celebrated.

I have a dream that one day, we would respect the wish of African women to be treated with dignity.

I have a dream that we would put a stop to all the troubles we put the African women through politically and otherwise, all in the name of being men?

I have a dream that one day, a woman will be the president of my native land- Nigeria.

I may neither be Luther nor King, but i am Martin enough to dream and that’s the bigger picture.

Ultimately, i salute the resilience, tenacity, doggedness and innate love of the African woman. I am proud of her.

Obama Vs The Nigerian

I love the Nigerian spirit; the spirit to identify with and appreciate good things and good tidings. Such has been exhibited in all nooks and crannies of Naija as Barack Obama became the first black and the youngest president of the US. It was unbelievable but it happened through the tenacity of purpose, dream and doggedness of this young man. I’ve heard calls for us to replicate the Obama phenomenon in Nigeria. To believe in our dreams and make them happen. How can we do this when we don’t even have a Martin Luther King? The Nnamdi Azikiwe that we had has had his ideals buried and reburied because they do not have room for personal aggrandizement but rather, to build a better indivisible Nigeria and the rest that tried to Martin Luther us to greater heights had their voices shut before they became clarion calls. We shouldn’t judge Nigerians too hard especially, the younger ones. Obama has made history; there is no doubt about that but nobody has really made mention of the fact that he grew up in a society that has met the BASIC NEEDS of her citizens, a society that prepared and equipped him for this epic battle, a society that doesn’t expect to be praised for providing BASIC INFRASTRUCTURE like road and electricity, a society that respects the socio-political aspiration and rights of her younger generation and women and it wasn’t out of the ordinary for them that Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin- a state governor made their marks as presidential and vice presidential contenders respectively. Our first female governor via a miscarriage of law was celebrated for God sakes! Young Nigerians dream and they dare. That's the reason you have not experienced total anarchy in our beloved country. They are taking chances that are not allowed them and they are surviving. I never knew we were even ready for a Speaker as young as Bankole. We will continue to dare and we will also make history: that's the soul song of the Nigerian youth. 

As we call for our people to emulate the Obamamania, our government should also see his society and circumstances such as quality education, provision of basic infrastructure and the likes, a situation worthy of replication in Naija.

Height Of Falling In Love

I once heard that if you are not ready to catch someone, don't allow him or her to fall in love with you. I have also heard people say how often they have fallen in and out of love. And I believe that you have also heard it several times and might have even experienced it one way or the other. There is no gainsaying the fact, nay we all have to agree that "falling" happens from a height and I am forced to ask, from what height does one "fall" in love?

Emeka Amakeze writes 

The Soul of Ndi Igbo

How a people think is deadlier than what they think; and such has become the circumstance of the modern day Ndi Igbo.

“Egbe bere Ugo bere, nke si ibe ya ebena, nku kwaa ya”,

“Ọ baara isi, ọ bara agụba”

The above are wise sayings that used to be integral parts of the supplications of Ndi Igbo to Chi okike from their first encounter with the sunrise till the sun sets. But sadly, proclaiming that both the eagle and the hawk should perch; while the one that says the other should not perch should have its wings broken in bits, and that what is good for the goose is also good for the gander have all become the proverbial cloth that was swept off by the wind when Okoro; who was yet to become an odogwu tied it around his waist. Ọ were bụrụ ego emekwara mmọnwụ for one does not request a refund of the money sprayed on a masquerade.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge and how Ndi Igbo think has now become different from what it used to be mgbe ezi ka di n’ukwu ukwa. In the days when they recounted their heroic deeds, myths and legends in the presence of the moonlight and often times with children seated in semi circles while Ani - the earth goddess that does not spare evil doers witnessed. In the days when elders were respected for their wisdom and for those things that they saw while seated which the youthful age could not see even from the top of the Iroko tree, rather than feared because of the number of people they diabolically and jealously sent to the world beyond.

A ka na-agba ọsọ ọchụ? Gone are the days when elders cleared their throat to speak and the spirits listened.  Elders of Igbo land have learnt to fly without perching by killing the ones that call them father and the spirits learnt to shoot without aiming by looking the other way as elders are served pounded mbana instead yam. Ụmụaka were na-eresịzị ndi okenye adaka na ọnụ enwe.

The few wise ones still weep for the days when women were won by those who deserved them and the men, by the valour of their strength. The winds have swept away the days when elders, ndi diokpara and ndi ada were given their due respect irrespective of their financial status.

The water that passed under the bridge washed away the days when begging and stealing were considered abomination by Ndi Igbo; because one of the ways they measured their self worth was how hard they worked and how well fed their families were considered to be. Those were the days the Ndi Igbo believed that one’s neighbour was one's sibling; and that righteousness and purity were essential in his day to day activities. Those were the days they thought positively and it worked for them

It is no longer thus. Mmadụ ọ nọkwa n'ụlọ egbe were buru mbe?

But the child that says that his mother will not sleep will of course have no sleep.

Ndi Igbo man murdered sleep when they sacrificed their essence on the altar of self-importance and vainly chose to call themselves ọ kwụ ọtọ ekene eze and taught their children that wealth rather than truth and justice, is the final arbiter; akụ na-ebi okwu, ụmụazi were iwe bọsaa okpesi.

The vanity of Ndi Igbo and largely, how they now think has become a knife that has severed the thing that spiritually held him together, o wee buru oke n’ụlọ, ngwere n’ọhia. The soul of Ndi Igbo man left them and they fell apart.

But until Ndi Igbo agree that their mother will sleep by changing the way they think, they will continue to be denied sleep.

Emeka Amakeze writes...

Youths Of My Age

"wasted generation", "irresponsible", "lazy" are least of the names that youths of my time have been forced to bear in my country. They are blamed for anything that goes wrong.

So has is it been in my time; an age where many cannot afford western education and are still inundated with "if education is expensive, try ignorance" by those that went to school either on scholarships or community efforts.

Majority of the youths of my age roam the streets armed with their first class and second class certificates, worn out shoes and threadbare suits looking for the much promised but non-existent jobs. 

"Employment for all by the year 2008, 2015, 2020" no longer mean anything to them. They are told that education is the key yet they have had more doors slammed in their faces than they can remember. Defying hunger and frustration, some still stand tall in salute to the dignity of man. Yet they are termed "unresourceful" by those who were offered jobs, cars, houses even before they finished their degree exams.

The burden of expectation has been too much for some and they fell by the wayside of armed robbery, prostitution, fraud and other vices but my SALUTE goes to all of you who have despite all odds, risen to touch that silver lining in their cloud of uncertain future and resolved to be rallying points for others and a beacon of hope to the rest.

Emeka Amakeze writes

Culture Transmission: The Youths Approach

Culture which can be defined as the art, music, literature and other intellectual expressions of a particular society in time, transmits from one age to another, from one generation to the other. 

The transmission of culture can either occur consciously or unconsciously. Each age has their own concepts and specific techniques of encountering the transmission of culture. In the same vein, the youths of each age assume a peculiar approach to cultural values which more often than not manifest in the form of constant re-enactment of acceptance and rejection, modification and fine tuning of the cultural values of the passing age.

The youths are often challenged to sift the values of the passing age in preservance of modern and current values, thereby making it one fundamental feature of any cotemporary culture that the modern and current values are the requisites from whatever cultural values the youths of an age would preserve from the past ages.

The youths are always opposed to the consistency of cultural values from one age to the other. By virtue of their constant dynamic reactions to new realities and novel discoveries, the youths argue that the cultural values upheld by a past age should not have any influence on those of the modern age. Thereby holding the concept of change as a constant in culture and culture transmission.

However, being conscious of this attitude of the youths of every age towards culture and culture transmission and knowing full well that one day, the youths of today will become elders of tomorrow and would expect the youths of such generation to be tied to the values of their past age, a compromise is all that is needed.

Liberty should be given to the maintainance or marriage of some of the cultural values of a passing age and the modern and current ones. What the youths deem unbecoming of the passing age should not be forced on them. Attempts to do so , even in the past have always yeilded nothing but widening the gap of cultural perspective between the past ages and the youths.

Emeka Amakeze writes 

Between the Dreamer and the Realist

God made some people, investing them with a vivid imagination to see all kinds of visions. They are often impatient with their surrounding and are eager to speed off to some promised land beyond the horizon. If these people are not checked, they would destroy life's stability. They would forever be stampeding the rest to all kinds of fanciful realms, where their lives could not be sustained.

The creator therefore provided a brake in people who are stern realists, who will puncture every dream with the needle of keen analysis, who will challenge every vision in the name of facts and circumstances.

Between the dreamer and the realists, there is an unending feud. It may be bitter, for the realists judge the dreamers to be enemies of the society. Indeed, history knows instances where dreamers seized control and turned fanatics and destroying those who are not ready to join them in their adventure.

A healthy society is one in which the dreamer recognises the right to be challenged in the name of realism and in which the realist recognises the right to be questioned in the name of progress. 

The dreamer and the realist were meant to be collaborators. Through the balance of their conflicting pressures, we forge an ordered progress in which we shall reach out towards our goals, without sacrificing settled achievements

Emeka Amakeze writes

Personality Development

A man is as good as his destiny, nay, his thoughts. Thus the heart of every matter settles in the heart. And in the life of a man, his health, his ability to relate well with others and his level of success are inextricably interwined with his personality - good or bad.

The personality of a man is a functional by-product of both some internal and external factors. He is internally affected by his thoughts, mental pictures, his mindset and imagination whereas externally, he is influenced by his physical environment - what he sees, hears or feels. Negatively or positively, he is affected by his society and the people he interacts with. But the development of certain traits and abilities would make us to be either loved or hated, liked or just tolerated by others.

A loathsome personality would most probably scare people away from a man and place him on the highway to perdition. In the same vein, a pleasant personality traits or behavioural patterns create an enabling environment for success, accomplishment, recognition, love and care.

If you are personable, you will be able to improve your circumstances, modify your situation and influence other people. Developing your personality positively is a sure way of distinguishing yourself from everyone else. This is done through conscious and sustained efforts, as personality traits do not evolve spontaneously.

Negative thoughts and actions produce bad feelings, depression and regrets but good thoughts and actions lead to joy and happiness. And it goes beyond that as people like to associate with easy-going and agreeable personalities even though they may not be personable themselves. Personable individuals appreciate every little positive effort made by others and more often than not, extol virtue generally in people.

Personable people are made, they are not born and you can be one.

Emeka Amakeze writes...

Immortality Accomplished

For centuries, the search for immortality, which seems to man, the only thing that will give meaning to his sojourn on earth, has been an elusive and unending one. He has however turned his dread on among other things; suffering and death, believing them to take meaning away from life.

Shallow understanding of the transitory nature of our potentialities has denied mankind the true nature of immortality. In the wavy line of actualising our set goals and objectives, parts of us are left with the moments which with the turning of the hands of time, belong to the past. But then, nothing is lost as the past only stores them for the appropriate time when they would be called upon.


Until man comes to the understanding that suffering, poverty, death and the likes do not take meaning away from life, he will continue to delude himself that somewhere beyond horizon lies the power of immortality rather than in himself.


However, since man is out-Pictured by the extent of his ephemeral realisation, suffering and death become essential as they would serve as yardsticks for how he builds or justifies his existence. 

Man will always put suffering and death into consideration as he ponders on the myriad of his immediate potentialities. They either make him take good or bad decisions, or make him weep for the fact that all he laboured for will go down the drain. It all goes to intensify the search for immortality but man does not need to search.

If only he will see the light and realise that there are always two sides to every coin. Someone died that he may be here and so, he will have to go for another to come. It's unending but once man understands that in that line of perpetual going and coming, he will forever remain a spot of reference. He and all that he did will inevitably be delivered to the past which in turn will be rescued. He thereby lives on forever, and immortality is his.

Emeka Amakeze writes...

Children and Beer: For Laughs

"It is now an established fact that all human motive and action is due to beer; not merely among adults but also among children. The whole life of a child, of either sex is actuated by beer.

The first action of which a child is capable is a lusty yell; we have established that this is no less than a cry for beer, or at any rate for some kind of drink.

The next action of the child is to drink. If it does not drink beer it is because it's system is not yet capable of drinking beer. But behind the relish of milk is the desire for beer. These we call the primary instincts. The secondary instincts are to be found in the love of popping corks, of yellow-brown colours, of frothy substances like soap and so on.

The child calls his father Papa, which represents the popping of the cork, and his mother Mamma which gives the noise of the liquid being poured into a glass. All the gurgling noises of childhood go to prove the strength of the instinct...
Most of our knowledge is based upon dreams, which we have taken as the most reliable evidence scientifically possible.

We know, by means too elaborate to tell here, that even very young children dream about beer; nay, more, that they dream about nothing else. When a child dreams of a boat upon a lake, what is it but a symbol of beer? Of a shower of pain, a river, a sea? Everything yellow or brown is beer. Every thing frothy or sparkling is beer. Everything in something else is beer; a nut in its shell, for example, is obviously representative of beer in the bottle. Everything issuing from an aperture is beer Everything that moves is beer, particularly quick moving jerky things, which are reminiscent of "hops". In fact, we can say that the child cannot dream of anything but beer.

There is no dream possible but beer ."