Talking About Sex

We often talk about our sex lives either in private or publicly. It might be out of the need to be told how exciting it is or simply to boast about our sexual prowess. But then, how does it really feel like talking about your past sex life with your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend and how exactly do you feel when your partner begins to tell you all the sultry details of their past sex life, especially when you have not tried some of the sexual acts described by your partner with relish and nostalgia?

What Love Is

In our limitations as humans, love has had varied meanings or holds diverse definitions for different people and as such, what a loved one may offer us as love may not quite feel like what we know as love. But how could this greatest gift and luxury ever given to man hold as diverse meanings to him as we see today.

Love is love and has neither degrees nor shades. If it’s not love, then it’s not love. It is believed that God is love and since he created man in his own image and likeness, man therefore is, essentially love. He desires to be loved and cannot function properly without love. Even those that don’t believe in it do so out of fear of a previous experience or one that is witnessed

In our quest to get the purest of the essence of love and make it different from that which we already know, we fashion out those soothing words we often hear such as “unconditional love”, “perfect love”, “true love”, “real love”. All, in an attempt to define that special feeling that we yearn and always search desperately for!

We are however, our own obstacles to understanding love because any time we think about love, what first comes to mind is how that man is going to take care of me or how that girl is going to submit to me in bed. In all the fancy names we call love, our thoughts are always in the direction of what to get out of a relationship, and conveniently forget that love contends the soul and makes it ready to give instead of seeking to be given. To be in love is to place ones personal needs and wants after that of the beloved one without complaining and without expecting any remunerations and to be fully involved in the fulfillment of the self interest of the loved one.

The best person to write a manual for a gadget is the maker of such a gadget and since God is love, we should look up to Him for the meaning of love. Until we look up to our maker for a clear understanding of what love is, we will desperately continue to seek that which we vaguely understand from each individuals experience.

Love your neighbour even as Christ loved his church. He died for his church. Has this any place in your definition of love?

In the long and winding journey of life, when infatuation, beauty, sex, wealth and other such details that influence our definitions of love slowly vapourize and it dawns on us that we do not have that commitment and understanding that only love can give in a relationship, we withdraw into our shells and lick our wounds of heartbreaks and then, try to convince ourselves that we don’t believe in love. It is only in love and after love has grown in our hearts that we see and experience physical attraction, desire for marriage partners and friendship that can boast of commitment and understanding.

And God did say what love is and it goes thus

If i speak with the languages of men and of angels, but don’t have love, i have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

If i have the gift of prophesy and know all the mysteries and knowledge; and if i have faith, so as to move mountains but don’t have love, i am nothing.

If i dole out all my goods to feed the poor and if i give my body to be burned but don’t have love, it profits me nothing

Love is kind and is patient

Love doesn’t envy

Love doesn’t brag

Love is not proud

Love doesn’t behave itself inappropriately

Love doesn’t seek its own way and is not provoked

Love takes no account of evil and doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness

It rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things

Love hopes all things, endures all things

Love never fails

That is what love is.

A Decision I Once Took

I started an affair with Facebook last month and was thrilled and amazed at the number of friends i had lost contact with that i was able to meet there. I was still basking in that euphoria when i accidentally saw one of the few remarkable people i met in the university. I couldn't help but go down memory lane and i smiled, i wondered and i smiled again. I smiled because i remembered.
A couple of years back in Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, i had just won the Student's Union Presidential elections against all odds. I had to choose some competent hands that were going to work with me in the Presidency and of course, i had no problems filling all the positions except one.
Who was going to be the Attorney General of the Student's Union Government? A position that was so sensitive and so coveted that every senior law student worth HIS salt could do anything to have it. As i did not have to search on Yahoo or Google, i had only the law faculty to choose from, i consulted with some bright minds around me and


at the end of a very conscious and meticulous assessment of the most likely candidates; i was forwarded with a list of four names. I was to choose one from among the four but since i wanted the best, i had a very serious problem staring me in the face. It was either i went for the best and faced the consequences or i compromised for less.
I settled for the best of the best but it was decided that i had commited an abomination and thus emerged a conspiracy that finally took roots in the Student's Union House of Assembly; eventuating not only to the non ratification of my candidate for the AG, but to my impeachment. I stood my ground and kept telling the House, the opposition and whoever cared to listen that it was going to be the candidate i presented or nothing. The political weather was tense and the impasse went from days to weeks and before we knew it, it had gone to a month and still counting.
The qualifications and qualities of the my candidate that were like some unbelievable lyrics to the ears did


not matter to the opposition. They insisted that what i wanted had never been done and would never be. What was my candidate's crime? Her sex! My little known candidate was a girl and nobody probably saw the strength of either Sarah Pallin or Hillary Clinton in her. She fitted perfectly into my maps for a successful leadership and so, i refused to bulge on my decision and eventually, the power of superior arguement won and the House ratified her position and Ada Okwor became the first and only Attorney General of the Student's Union Government of Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka.
I smiled and wondered what it felt like then and i smiled yet again as i looked at her picture on Facebook.
Merry Christmas to you.

Children and Beer: For Laughs

"It is now an established fact that all human motive and action is due to beer; not merely among adults but also among children. The whole life of a child, of either sex is actuated by beer.

The first action of which a child is capable is a lusty yell; we have established that this is no less than a cry for beer, or at any rate for some kind of drink.

The next action of the child is to drink. If it does not drink beer it is because it's system is not yet capable of drinking beer. But behind the relish of milk is the desire for beer. These we call the primary instincts. The secondary instincts are to be found in the love of popping corks, of yellow-brown colours, of frothy substances like soap and so on.

The child calls his father Papa, which represents the popping of the cork, and his mother Mamma which gives the noise of the liquid being poured into a glass. All the gurgling noises of childhood go to prove the strength of the instinct...
Most of our knowledge is based upon dreams, which we have taken as the most reliable evidence scientifically possible.

We know, by means too elaborate to tell here, that even very young children dream about beer; nay, more, that they dream about nothing else. When a child dreams of a boat upon a lake, what is it but a symbol of beer? Of a shower of pain, a river, a sea? Everything yellow or brown is beer. Every thing frothy or sparkling is beer. Everything in something else is beer; a nut in its shell, for example, is obviously representative of beer in the bottle. Everything issuing from an aperture is beer Everything that moves is beer, particularly quick moving jerky things, which are reminiscent of "hops". In fact, we can say that the child cannot dream of anything but beer.

There is no dream possible but beer ."